Do you remember the times in your life when things just weren’t going right or when bad things just kept piling up – one thing after another? Did you know that sometimes it’s brought on by stinking thinking? YES!
Your overall mindset and mental state can have a tremendous impact on virtually all aspects of your life. This means that we each need to seize control of our lives by changing the way we think about things.
One of the best things you can do to improve your circumstances is to start latching onto the positive aspects in our lives. While it’s far too easy for our minds to cling to negatives, focusing on something positive can help you create a contagious and uplifting energy that will light up your entire day and change the course of the events that happen in your life.
It’s easy to do, too. Start off each morning or evening by sitting down and creating a list of five positive things in your life. It’s okay if your lists overlap, and if some days the same items are included – the key here is to conjure up things that will improve your mood and make you smile. For example, some things might be…
• Your children
• An activity you love to do
• Upcoming seasons – do you love fall or spring? They’re on the way!
• A friend
• or Family member
• Your fur baby
• Good health
Basically, the goal here is to think of five things each day that truly make you happy or that have a positive impact on your life. Listing them helps remind you of them, which in turn lets you create a kind of positive outlook that is hard to ignore.
Best of all, once you do this, that positivity will begin to bleed over into those around you – it’s truly contagious. And when you impact those around you positively it creates a whirlwind of positive thinking that can help EVERYONE stay happy and focused every day and all day long.
I’ve tested this process time and again and it works for me! In fact, it continues to improve my life, my health and anything life throws at me each time I embrace this concept. It really REALLY is CONTAGIOUS!
Black Friday starts NOW thru Nov 30.
Get your shopping done early and give the gift of total transformation to yourself or those you love most this holiday season!
When you buy the Take Back Your Life Gold Package —- as a BONUS I give you my TOOLKIT which includes…The Reset Your Life E-book, a fun Dance Workout, 4 video tips, and more!
The Fountain of You online DVDs are ONLY $14.99! $10 off! https://wendyida.com/product/fountain-of-you-dvds/. Give the gift of transformation to anyone this holiday season! And Why not TREAT YOURSELF while you’re at it!
Take Back Your Life Success Bundle is ONLY $99! (Reg $149)
Gifting yourself or those you love has never been easier or more impactful.
When you’re cuddled up to watch the latest thriller, and your heart rate jumps, and you jump right along with it while the bad guy pops out from behind the creaky door, that’s the good kind of scary! It’s the kind that’s full of laughter and full of fun during this spooky season.
But there’s also another kind of more serious scary. It’s the kind that stops you from being all you’re really meant to be!
This Halloween season, let’s focus on that first scary instead of the second one! When it comes to the scary that throws a wrench in your goals, or makes you think that you’re not capable of doing something, that’s the bad guy you have to defeat in real life. It’s your life, and you’re meant to be living it YOUR way, not the way the obstacles are trying to limit you to living.
When real fear starts to get out of control, it can really take over your life without you even realizing it. Pretty soon you’ll know in your subconscious mind that you’re being held back, even if you don’t want to admit that it’s the fear doing it’s best work to get to you. Fear is a challenge, and you’ve got to beat it if you want to get back on your own track!
The best thing you can do about the bad fear is to notice it early and defeat it while it’s still small. For this reason, it’s really important to prioritize taking back your life, and to keep your eyes on the prize!.
Because…There is no challenge you cannot overcome, there is nothing too scary to stop” you from accepting your real happiness, and I assure you that taking back your life is the way to get there! Build your vision board, practice mindfulness, nourish your spiritual, mental, and physical self, and pretty soon you’ll see that there is no fear in this world that can defeat you!
Bam! You get what I’m saying?
Don’t let this Halloween season deter you from your goals. Do you boo! 🙂 and contact me today to see how we can keep you on the straight and narrow.
Whether with my clients or with any speaking engagement my mission is the same….I want everyone to walk away feeling inspired to make HEALTHY choices and POSITIVE changes. I also do it to empower you to realize your worth, strength, and potential! Learn more—> https://wendyida.com/see-wendy-in-action/
I loved speaking to your organization, Michelle Patterson! Thank you for your amazing review!
2019 is winding down fast and there still never really seems to be enough hours in the day. I’m sure you can relate. But if you’ve stuck with it, I bet you’ve taken big strides towards your goals for the year. And even if you haven’t, NOW is a good time to reroute your navigation system so you can handle the holidays with pride. The new year is approaching – and with that new year comes a fresh start.
No matter where you’re at in your life, it’s never too late to start making significant changes for the better. But before you can start the journey or even prepare for it, you’ll have to answer one key question: Just where do you want to go?
Instead of just making a hollow resolution this year, let’s take a moment to really get to the meat of the question. Take a minute and write down some basic goals for yourself – maybe they’re professional, maybe they’re personal. But start off by listing some of them. Some options may include things like:
· Get fitter
· Change your nutrition plan for good
· Workout more
· Learn a new skill like a musical instrument
· Go to a new place
· Start a new career path
No matter what, you’ll want to lay a foundation. You have time now to start figuring out your goals and then set up a roadmap on how to get there. This early planning can help you figure out what steps to take and also help you determine exactly how realistic your goals are. It can also help you get your mindset in the right place so you can begin properly and move towards your goals in the right way.
If you’re serious about your future, there are few things more important than taking the time to plan a new start on a new path. Think about it, plan it out, and you’ll be able to make sure 2020 is your best year ever! And as always, you can count on me to be here to help wherever possible!
My mission in life is to help people TAKE BACK THEIR FABULOUS & reach their potential. If this is what you’re looking for whether it’s on a personal level OR in a Keynote Speaker click here —> https://wendyida.com/see-wendy-in-action/
I am so blessed to be able to meet people every day & help them achieve their dreams! My client’s have much to say about that.
– NO…Jay Jay you are a Goddess! Keep up the great work!
Hey it’s your girl Wendy Ida and I’m back in the saddle again!
It’s been a while since my last communication and I’ve missed you! Life has a funny way of getting in the way sometimes but it’s never too late to fix it and ever so important to charge ahead in spite of it all in order to reach your goals and find your joy.
I hope you’re healthily working through your day and trying to reach whatever fitness and health goals you’ve set for yourself. But, I also know that it can be a tough journey and it’s far too common for us to end up facing difficult moments that really challenge us.
Whether it’s a lack of motivation, hitting a plateau that we don’t seem to be able to break through, or something else, these are the moments that really test you – and that can make or break your success. We all experience them, but it’s how we rise to the occasion that dictates our future.
If you’re facing one of those tough moments here’s a few simple things that can keep you pumped up, motivated, and driven.
• Reaffirm your Goals! – Think about your goals. Think about where you want to be and where you’re trying to get, then review all the goals you’ve already reached. That boost of confidence is a great first step.
• Change it Up! – Sometimes we just reach a point when we feel like we’re a hamster on a wheel, constantly spinning and running and never getting anywhere. Now’s when you need to change things up! Try a new recipe, add some different smoothies to the morning, and find a few workout routines that will change things. If you’re an outdoor runner, change your trail or path for a few days. Keep things fresh and it will help immensely.
• Set Smaller Milestones And Bigger Rewards – Need a boost? Pump yourself up with a promise of a big reward, but a smaller milestone goal. Maybe buying yourself that new pair of shoes if you just log in an hour jog today. Often, reaching those smaller milestones is all it takes to stay pumped.
• Get Help! – For the BIG boost you really need…It’s important to talk with a coach or fitness professional – like myself – as a source of inspiration and to get the right information when you’re facing tough moments or looking for accountability in your journey. One of the things I pride myself on is customizing a safe but effective program that fits my clients body type (Whether they live in the US or outside of the country) and will get them maximum results in little time. Also friends and coworkers can be great workout partners and a source of support.
These are just some of the simple ways you can stay pumped, keep your drive, and reach your fitness goals. Keep focused on the destination you’re trying to reach and stay positive and you WILL get there!
It happened for me and it can happen for you too. So don’t hesitate to contact me if you need more information on how I can help you!
Hope you had an amazing Easter and are looking forward to the beautiful months ahead.
Lately, I’ve been asked a question that seems to reoccur over and over again for many years now.
“Wendy how did you do it? How did you transition from your life as a victim of domestic violence and losing 80lbs to winning awards, writing bestseller books and being so inspirational?”
My response is this: The day I made the decision to push through my fears and start believing in myself and believing that the process of achieving health & getting my life back could work for me…it did.
It doesn’t matter what your problems are or how long you’ve held on to them you can be free of them today. You have to let the resentment go, let the fear go and stop being angry with what happened to you in the past. Forgive yourself and others so you can be set free. TODAY you can experience miracles if you set the intention and make the decision that (come hell or high water) you will be stronger, healthier, wealthier or have more satisfying relationships. Once you decide things will magically align and be in divine order.
It works for me every time.
This process can be challenging but nevertheless achievable. If I can assist you in how to break down this process so it works optimally for you please do not hesitate to contact me by email at: email@example.com
I’m looking forward to the month of May because it’s my birthday which feels like Christmas for me!
Sparks fly with online parties, LIVE presentations (May 23rd- Register below)
AND my private coaching specials plus other products – 30% off all month long!
So look out for all of it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, see my website at wendyida.com under the tab “work with Wendy” or just send me an email and ask me about my birthday specials.
Hot dog! So nothing is stopping you now! Let’s party!!!
Does age have you by the throat because you’re feeling like you don’t matter anymore or somebody told you that you’re too old, too sick or too tired to make a difference in the world? NONSENSE
If you ascribe to any of that chatter I guess you didn’t hear that times have changed! AARP, however, is making sure more people get the message through their Magazine and videos and I am honored to be among them this month.
See for yourself…Click Photo.
The good news is…it’s not too late for you to become a part of this change. Whether you are over 40,50, 60 or more –these are the most exciting times of your life. Contrary to what some believe you can STILL make an undeniable impact in the world.
If you’ve lived this long you have the gift of WISDOM, but you have to use it wisely if you truly desire to make an impact and not waste it on trivial things.
You also have POWER if you have wisdom and that power can make a tremendous impact on your life and the lives of others around you.
The question however is…will you choose to take advantage of your gifts.
You have two choices. You can be a bystander and wait for life to play out for you OR you can get there with intention and take control of every opportunity regardless of how uncomfortable you feel. As a result, you can have the best joy ride of your life!
I am committed to the joyride. What are you committed to?
To get your mojo back you have to: Stay relevant, Get creative, Stay active and reinvent yourself.Otherwise, you lose that spark and become old and outdated.
This is your lifeline.
Here’s what I know. Taking good care of yourself in the way you know you should is often difficult. Busy days and nights take its toll on our bodies, minds and souls that causes our motivation to wane.
I get it. Been there done that. I know how daunting that cycle can be. But here’s what I also know. You can rise up out of that cycle. You CAN do better and I am dedicated to giving you the tools you need to succeed.
If you are ready to make a change, but finding it difficult to do so and…
If you find yourself staring at the walls because you don’t know what to do next, let me know and I’d be happy to point you in the right direction.
Isn’t it time you trusted yourself enough to do something different so you can get different results.REAL RESULTS!
For more information on how you can work with me send me a note by clicking here –> https://wendyida.com/contact/
Dreams Don’t Work Unless You Do — So Get Ready to Take Action
I’ve met all kinds of people over the years, at all ages and stages — and all different kinds of “ready”. Are you READY to embrace your new life? Keep reading…. You could be closer than you think! Which one of these sounds like you?
1. READY AND ROLLING
These people have already taken the first steps toward embracing change in their lives. They KNOW what works for them. They KNOW what they want to achieve. And they’ve already reshaped their lives to make room in their life for the changes that they’re seeking. What does someone like this need with a coach? STRUCTURE and KNOWLEDGE. Even an elite athlete like Serena Williams has a coach to help her stay on top of her game. Many celebrities at the top of their professions do the same.
IF THIS IS YOU, then the one thing you need to remember is to be OPEN to your coach’s guidance. You’ve gotten this far. Your coach can help you reach new levels of greatness — IF you let her.
2. READY AND WILLING
Some people are so READY to change that they’re practically leaping off the starting line — they just need a little push to get going, and some motivation to stay the course. They’ve realized that their current habits and mindset are working against them. They have a pretty realistic idea about where they want to go, even if they don’t have all the details worked out. What these people need is ACCOUNTABILITY and GUIDANCE. They need someone to stay with them, to help them keep moving toward their goals, and to help guide them through the decisions down the road that they haven’t anticipated.
IF YOU ARE HERE, then trust me — when you get rolling, you are going to do great things. The important thing to do is to LISTEN to your coach. And give her FEEDBACK, too, about what really works for you and what’s only OK. Let’s be honest — once you start, not every day is going to be super-fantastic goal-smashing. Change is hard work, and it takes time! But over time you will see your goals getting closer and closer. And the next thing you know, you’ll be making new ones.
3. READY AND WAITING
Some people WANT to change their lives… or at least they want their lives to change. But they can’t quite see HOW to take the first step, or they have trouble believing that they can really do it. These people are right on the cusp — the tipping point of being READY. It’s a special place to be. We’ve all been there. What people need most at this stage is ENCOURAGEMENT to take the plunge, and INSPIRATION to trust their vision for a better future.
IF THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE, take heart! You’ve already taken the first step toward change, just by realizing that things don’t have to stay the same forever. Think about your vision and what your first step toward it is. Ask yourself what’s holding you back from that first step. Often it’s a practical concern like money or family. I get it! Sometimes reality has you under a rock, and you feel you need stay there to protect yourself — personally, financially, or otherwise. Concerns like this can look like huge, insurmountable roadblocks, and make you feel like you’re not READY.
But hang on! You’re closer to READY than you think. Trust your vision. Start figuring out what to do to make room in your life for the changes you want. Push ahead and commit to that action. And when you do… guess what? Doors WILL open. It’s true! New resources or opportunities will come through that you didn’t expect — because you never asked. Roadblocks will come down… or you will find a different route. It happens when you “go all in” and commit to action — and it doesn’t happen until you COMMIT.
What do you need from your coach at this stage? First, you need someone who will help you refine your VISION and design a roadmap to make it reality. Second, you need someone to help you understand your PRIORITIES and carve out space for you amid the chaos of uncertainty. Most importantly, you need a coach who will focus on your whole life, not just one part of it.
So let me ask again…. Are you ready? Maybe a better question is — what are you ready FOR? However far along you are in transforming your life, take confidence! When you take action, look out — change will blossom in your life!
Ready…. Set…. Go!
A few months ago, a trainer based in Atlanta contacted me on Facebook asking if I would leave an encouraging word for one of his clients. 58 years old, 5 feet-4 inches tall, with two adult children, she had struggled with motivation until her trainer showed her a few photos of me, and then gave her my book, Take Back Your Life.
“There were several similarities in your story and hers,” he wrote to me. “You became a living, breathing visual aid that gave her a clear picture of where in fitness I was trying to take a woman her age. Your example took away all of the excuses that could possibly haunt her.”
I’ve been working in this business for over 22 years now helping people reinvent their lives, but it’s always a little breathtaking to hear that I’ve been a source of inspiration in helping someone turn the corner on their goals—even (or maybe especially) when I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting them personally. What a blessing and an honor!
Don’t get me wrong…. I’m aware that I’m an inspiration to other people. Looking back on MY story even inspires me! That’s one of the reasons why I decided to take this path and do what I do. It was the best thing I could do to make use of the gifts I’ve been given. The fact that it took me 40-plus years before I uncovered those gifts just makes the whole experience that much sweeter.
But hear me when I say this: YOU can be an inspiration, too. Whether you believe it now or not.
I hear you saying, “No, not me.” Yes, you! BUT… there are two things you need to do first.
FIRST, you HAVE to take care of you.
Take care of you by honoring yourself and cleaning your own “house”. Your body. Your mind. Your long-term health. Your personal safety. This is NOT selfish! When you do this, you honor your Creator—because your life and your body are gifts, and you are honoring the Giver by taking care of them.
SECOND, get yourself a TEAM.
It’s not easy taking control of your life, and you shouldn’t do it alone. Find your tribe. The ones that “get” you. The person that has stuck with you through it all. The gang down at the gym that is rooting for you. The friends that love dancing to the same music you do. A co-worker or classmate. A teacher. Or a coach—that’s what we’re here for! Finding my tribe is how I made it to where I am now—sticking with me through hell and back! Unconditional love from your support team is what will help you shut out your fears and become empowered.
And as you enjoy the company of your tribe and start to get your own house in order, guess what…? People will notice. Your family, your kids. Friends and coworkers. Even folks in the grocery store… at the bus stop… in the deli where you grab lunch. These people already see you almost every day. And as they see the changes you’re making, you WILL become an inspiration—a living, breathing example that makes their excuses evaporate.
There’s a quote I like that says, “Be strong—you never know who you are inspiring.” But there are many different kinds of strength. Physical strength. Determination. Strength of character. The courage to take the first step. The courage to keep showing up and moving a little bit closer to your goals every day. You don’t have to sit in fear. You don’t have to keep moving in circles.
Decide to honor yourself, and find your tribe. Then you’ll find that you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of. AND you can live and act in a way that inspires other people to make positive changes in their lives, too!
Because you never know who is watching!
I enjoy watching my granddaughter Aubrey watch me… AND mimic my moves!
I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again…. Exercise is just a small part of the story when it comes to overall fitness and healthy living. Your mentality—your mindset and your commitment to yourself—are the most important factors. But you also need to pay careful attention to what you’re putting IN your body. You know that good, healthy food is important. But there’s an important step that a lot of people miss: CLEANSING.
Cleansing prepares your body to absorb and use ALL of those good nutrients that you’re eating. Preparing your body ahead of time to use and absorb what you eat is the step most people miss!
Think about this…. If you bought a fine vase, you wouldn’t display it on a table strewn with old magazines and television remotes, would you? Of course not. It would take away from the beauty and more importantly the function for which it was intended. The same is true with your body. Cleaning on the inside will prepare it to function the way it should, to the highest possible degree. That’s why I say—what you put in your body is just as important as what you do with it.
Cleansing is not as hard as you might think, either. I’ve found a really gentle cleanse that is easy on your body and can be done by the most squeamish person. By the way, I’m squeamish. (LOL!) So I was careful in choosing. I’ve always supported doing a cleanse, but in the past I didn’t necessarily recommend a particular cleansing program because some don’t have good scientific research to support their claims. However, I’ve found a cleanse now that gets consistently good results and has been confirmed by a number of well-designed clinical studies.
Why should you cleanse?
Well, besides making you feel like a million bucks and kick-starting a healthy nutritional lifestyle, cleansing has two other huge benefits. First, it actually helps you lose fat, not muscle—including visceral fat (the abdominal fat deep within your core, around your organs) that is tied to a higher risk of heart attacks and Type 2 diabetes. It also helps your body flush out toxins—especially environmental toxins that you have absorbed over the years—which are stored in fat cells.
Other benefits include
- Supporting healthy aging by reducing age-related tissue damage
- Improving athletic performance for both men and women
- Improving blood vessel health
- Enhancing weight loss and improving body composition
- Supporting long-term weight maintenance
One of the big differentiators in the cleanse I use is that it helps your whole body, all the way down to the cellular level! Not just your gastrointestinal tract, but also your liver, colon, circulation, and your lymphatic system. And it reduces inflammation throughout your body. Compared to people on a standard “heart-healthy” diet, both men and women on this cleansing plan lost more weight and more body fat (twice as much visceral fat) and saw greater improvements in cardiovascular health. They also found the plan convenient and easy to stick to, unlike the conventional dieters in the studies!
It’s no secret that cleansing is the best way to start your healthy lifestyle!
If you desire weight loss, better energy, performance training, or just aging gracefully, I can help connect you with the right system to meet your goals. The system I use is easy and flexible and comfortable for any busy lifestyle. On top of that, I’ll stick with you to help you stay with it and get the most out of the cleanse!
Cleansing is a great way to start your journey to finally reaching your goals and dreams. But it’s only one step. Consistent, good nutrition is also important. More talk on that coming up in my subsequent blogs!
Want to learn more about my cleansing program? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org!
THE BEST KEPT SECRET TO REACHING YOUR GOALS!!
Are you feeling stuck while others seem to be getting their groove on? Have you ever wished you could press the fast-forward button to reach your goals and dreams too? Well, believe it or not, YOU CAN!
So have no fear because the answer is clear. The fact is… you may need a coach!
The best of the best have coaches. Actors like Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, and Denzel Washington all have coaches. Business moguls like Larry Page of Google and Howard Shultz of Starbucks have coaches. That’s why they are great! I have a coach, too—and it has made all the difference in helping me move ahead at a faster pace.
What does a coach do?
When you commit to a big life change, getting a coach may not be the first thing you think of. There are so many do-it-yourself guides, apps, websites, gyms, classes…. With all the information and tools out there, you can put together your own program. Right?
Well, maybe some can. There are lots of things people can do on their own. But it may be harder than it has to be. And the results won’t be as good or lasting as they could be. And the risk of failure—or giving up—are high! (Ask an experienced real estate agent how “For Sale by Owner” home sales work, and they’ll tell you: “Not well!”)
In the 1800s, the word “coach” was college slang for someone that helped “carry” a student over the finish line with exams. It was later used with sports teams, but originally it meant a one-on-one relationship. Someone that gets from where you are now to where you want to be in the future—that’s a coach, pure and simple.
A coach’s specific qualifications will depend on the subject area, but in all cases the coach brings three things to the table: structure, accountability, and my favorite: MOTIVATION!
A coach’s job is to help you get to your goal. This means, first, helping you understand your desires and set a good, achievable, realistic end goal—as well as interim goals to keep you on track.
What do I mean “achievable” and “realistic”? Think of it like this: if you’re five feet tall and an adult past your growing years, then “being 5’8” tall” is not a reasonable, achievable, or realistic goal for you! (No matter how much milk you drink or visualization you practice!) Working seriously toward that goal is only likely to make you less healthy and less happy—and anyone who says they can help you probably doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
As a coach, I would want to know instead, “Why do you say you want to be taller? What do you mean? What are you seeing in your head?” Is it a healthier you? More confident? Poised? Successful? Well, that’s different! Those are achievable—and height has nothing to do with them.
Besides understanding your desires and setting goals, a coach also helps you understand and tackle the work to get there. This is important, because there is so much information out there—some good, some not so good. You could read a whole library of books before finding an approach that works for you. Or… you can talk to a coach, who has read lots of those books, put those methods—and others—to the test, and helped people in circumstances similar to yours.
“Today we’ll start with X and go on to Y…” “Next week, we’ll talk about Z…” A coach brings structure by setting the agenda—for the month, the week, the day, the hour, or just the next ten minutes—so you don’t have to stop and figure out what to do next. Instead you can keep your momentum and energy focused on working hard.
This brings me to another thing every coach provides. Progressing along your path to success requires accountability. This CANNOT be overstated. If structure is the roadmap, accountability is what keeps you tuned up and ready to roll.
You might think you can have accountability by yourself or with an app. Well, let’s think about that. An app—like a book or a checklist—is just a tool for focusing your own willpower. It can be a good place to start. It can provide a little structure, maybe nag you with notifications. But when things get hard, it’s easy for you to stop checking in—to ignore or turn off the notifications, or even delete the app. And no one is there to ask you why!
Change is hard. Relying on your willpower alone can make you feel like a failure when things get tough. Face-to-face accountability with a real, human coach can keep you going even when you feel tired or frustrated.
What about a friend or group of friends? Again, yes, to a point. It is important to have friends that support you. But when you leave your comfort zone and start making tough changes, a friend may not be able to give you the accountability you need. After all, they like you and want to help—and seeing you struggle can be hard. A coach accepts the responsibility to push you even when it’s uncomfortable, and to encourage you even when you complain! This does not mean they will harm you—a good coach will never bully, belittle, or injure you, or push you to injure yourself. But when you experience discomfort (and you will!) she can help you deal with it and understand why it’s happening.
So a coach gives you structure by confirming your destination and mapping out a way to get there. A coach also brings accountability, especially when things get tough. But there’s more. A coach gives you motivation. This is what keeps you moving down the path toward your goal—cheering you along, setting the next hurdles, and giving you perspective by reminding you why you wanted to change, and helping you see how far you’ve gone. A coach can’t do the work for you—that’s your job. But she can provide the structure to help you grow, get out of your comfort zone without getting hurt, and stay motivated.
So if you’re thinking about making a change in your life—a real, lasting, substantial change—a coach can give you the structure, accountability, and motivation you need to cross the finish line and embrace the future you desire and deserve.
Go for it! Put a coach in your back pocket today!
I am still basking in the glow of Janelle Monáe’s words at the Grammy Awards last week: “We come in peace, but we mean business.” Wow.
She was talking about women in the music industry—and I am so proud of her and other women for seizing the creative reins, bringing their message to life, and calling out the culture of inequality in the industry. But in a more general sense, I find these are great words to live by, especially when you are working toward a goal of transforming your life. I’ll tell you why.
“We come in peace.”
If you are really going to prepare yourself for long-term change, one of the first things you need to do is find peace. In two ways.
First, you have to make peace with the past. Stop rehashing your old struggles—with parents, school mates, teachers, ex-es, bosses. Whatever ghosts of failures past you have (real or imagined), let them go. They do not define you. You have successfully woken up every day up to now. You are here. And that means you have a starting point. You have the ability to forgive yourself—for not being perfect, and also for expecting yourself to be perfect. And you can forgive other people for the same things. After all, they’re humans, too, just like you. This frees you to see the positive side of what you have been, and what you can become.
You also need to make room for peace in the present. This means claiming time for self-care. Indulge in a relaxing bubble bath. Spend some time alone to plan your week—maybe even try on your work outfits and set them out. Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and let your mind roll to a stop. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming, and it has long-lasting benefits. Just a moment to be thankful for the good things of the day, celebrate what you’ve achieved, and forgive yourself for things that didn’t go as planned, is all it takes to bring you back to the center—and then move again in a positive direction.
“We mean business.”
OK, now that you have laid the groundwork, you can approach those long-term changes the same way you approach your life’s work. Because it is your life’s work! The evidence of your life is you. Don’t just think or read about working out. Schedule it. Treat it like a doctor’s appointment. Don’t just collect healthy recipes. Treat the contents of your grocery cart like medicine—good things, in the right amounts. Find someone to whom you are accountable. Maybe that’s your spouse or a friend—or maybe you can hire a coach or trainer. Yes, making these kinds of changes takes commitment. Yes, it takes planning. Yes, it is work. (Although that doesn’t mean it can’t also be fun.) So take a business-like approach to keep yourself on track.
Come in peace, but mean business.
Good health, and the good life, are so much more than physical. And your mindset is the key to making a successful change. Physical changes are just the most visible aspect of the more important changes in focus, forgiveness, acceptance, and attitude. Make peace with your past. Make room for peace in the present. And mean business!
If you know someone who could use a boost, please pass this along!
Photo by Matt Sayles/ Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock
It’s January! Time to make your New Year’s Resolution, right?
All cards on the table: I do NOT believe in making New Year’s Resolutions. Why not? Because, at the end of the day, in my experience, they just don’t work, and can even end up working against you. If you stick to your resolutions, you might experience short-term gains, but if you can’t, you’ll just wind up with long-term frustration.
What’s the matter with New Year’s Resolutions?
Think about how you might phrase a typical Resolution:
“In 2018, I resolve to….
“…eat more vegetables.”
“…spend more time with my kids.”
The problem with these resolutions is the word “more”. What does “more” mean?
If you currently eat no veggies (just for the sake of argument!), and start eating a carrot a day, are you keeping your resolution? What if you drop to every other day? What if you stop eating carrots and switch to veggie pizza? Or processed veggie chips? Are you still being “good”?
The problem with the word “more” in these resolutions is that it’s not measurable. And most importantly, it doesn’t provide any information about what you actually want to achieve by making these kinds of changes.
You might think that a lack of structure in a resolution would make it easier to achieve. If you’re at zero, then anything is an improvement, right? But the looseness of these kinds of statements makes it easy to overdo it—and then feel like a failure if you can’t keep up the pace. It can also make it easy to “underdo” it and then taper off after a while when you don’t “feel” any different. Either way, you end up right back where you started—waiting for next year to make another resolution.
Let’s consider a different kind of resolution:
“In 2018, I resolve to….
“…get a promotion.”
“…get a new client every month.”
“…publish a book.”
Well, OK, these sound measurable, don’t they? The problem here is that too many of the factors influencing these outcomes are out of your control. You might do everything right, work your tail off, and win the love of your clients and management—but if your industry hits a rough patch or your company has lay-offs, you may still not be able to “keep” your resolution. Simply put, you can’t make resolutions for how other people are going to act.
These are just a couple of reasons why I don’t believe in making New Year’s Resolutions. But what I DO believe in is setting goals—and then living toward your goals. Goal-making is a PROCESS that starts with the one ingredient that resolutions often overlook: what you want to achieve, and who you want to become in the future.
With goal-making, it’s OK to start big and general, for example: “I want to have a healthier lifestyle.” But we don’t stop there. The next step is asking, “What does a healthier lifestyle mean?” or even better, “How will I know when I’m living a healthier lifestyle?”
Maybe your answer to that question is, “I’ll know I’m healthier when my resting heart rate is less than 80 BPM,” or “I’ll know I’m healthier when my doctor says my cholesterol is in a healthy range.” So then, the next step could be to say, “OK, what can I do to improve my resting heart rate?”
Now we’re getting somewhere, and we’re in a position to make a good, evidence-based plan with concrete actions. Both cardio and weight training have been demonstrated to improve resting heart rate. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommend at least 150 to 300 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise—or 75 to 150 minutes of vigorous exercise—every week, plus muscle-strengthening activities at least two days a week. Now we have a target to work toward. And if 2½ hours of brisk walking a week isn’t possible for you right now, you can set additional interim goals until you work up to that level.
This is just one example of one kind of goal. Your goals might relate to health and fitness, or nutrition, finances, your career path, or your family life. The key is the PROCESS: start with a vision of what you want your life to be like, and then gradually add definition to that vision until you arrive at specific, achievable goals with measurable results.
Besides PROCESS, the other big difference between making goals and making resolutions is GROWTH. Rather than just “keeping” a resolution, we continually advance toward our goals. And when we reach a goal, we celebrate and then set another—propelling ourselves along into the future, step by step.
In my last blog post, I mentioned the “Ten-Year Rule” — in ten years, which choices will you look back on and be glad you made? This is one technique you can use to get started thinking about long-term goals. I’ll talk more in a later blog post about other tips for goal-setting, the kinds of questions you can ask yourself, and the kind of plans you can make.
In the meantime, tell me—what kind of goals do YOU want to set? Not just for 2018—but for “future you”?
Write and let me know—I’m eager to help you take back your life!
Happy new year, everybody!