by Wendy Ida | Mar 14, 2018 | Blog, Take Back Your Life
THE BEST KEPT SECRET TO REACHING YOUR GOALS!!
Are you feeling stuck while others seem to be getting their groove on? Have you ever wished you could press the fast-forward button to reach your goals and dreams too? Well, believe it or not, YOU CAN!
So have no fear because the answer is clear. The fact is… you may need a coach!
The best of the best have coaches. Actors like Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, and Denzel Washington all have coaches. Business moguls like Larry Page of Google and Howard Shultz of Starbucks have coaches. That’s why they are great! I have a coach, too—and it has made all the difference in helping me move ahead at a faster pace.
What does a coach do?
When you commit to a big life change, getting a coach may not be the first thing you think of. There are so many do-it-yourself guides, apps, websites, gyms, classes…. With all the information and tools out there, you can put together your own program. Right?
Well, maybe some can. There are lots of things people can do on their own. But it may be harder than it has to be. And the results won’t be as good or lasting as they could be. And the risk of failure—or giving up—are high! (Ask an experienced real estate agent how “For Sale by Owner” home sales work, and they’ll tell you: “Not well!”)
In the 1800s, the word “coach” was college slang for someone that helped “carry” a student over the finish line with exams. It was later used with sports teams, but originally it meant a one-on-one relationship. Someone that gets from where you are now to where you want to be in the future—that’s a coach, pure and simple.
A coach’s specific qualifications will depend on the subject area, but in all cases the coach brings three things to the table: structure, accountability, and my favorite: MOTIVATION!
A coach’s job is to help you get to your goal. This means, first, helping you understand your desires and set a good, achievable, realistic end goal—as well as interim goals to keep you on track.
What do I mean “achievable” and “realistic”? Think of it like this: if you’re five feet tall and an adult past your growing years, then “being 5’8” tall” is not a reasonable, achievable, or realistic goal for you! (No matter how much milk you drink or visualization you practice!) Working seriously toward that goal is only likely to make you less healthy and less happy—and anyone who says they can help you probably doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
As a coach, I would want to know instead, “Why do you say you want to be taller? What do you mean? What are you seeing in your head?” Is it a healthier you? More confident? Poised? Successful? Well, that’s different! Those are achievable—and height has nothing to do with them.
Besides understanding your desires and setting goals, a coach also helps you understand and tackle the work to get there. This is important, because there is so much information out there—some good, some not so good. You could read a whole library of books before finding an approach that works for you. Or… you can talk to a coach, who has read lots of those books, put those methods—and others—to the test, and helped people in circumstances similar to yours.
“Today we’ll start with X and go on to Y…” “Next week, we’ll talk about Z…” A coach brings structure by setting the agenda—for the month, the week, the day, the hour, or just the next ten minutes—so you don’t have to stop and figure out what to do next. Instead you can keep your momentum and energy focused on working hard.
This brings me to another thing every coach provides. Progressing along your path to success requires accountability. This CANNOT be overstated. If structure is the roadmap, accountability is what keeps you tuned up and ready to roll.
You might think you can have accountability by yourself or with an app. Well, let’s think about that. An app—like a book or a checklist—is just a tool for focusing your own willpower. It can be a good place to start. It can provide a little structure, maybe nag you with notifications. But when things get hard, it’s easy for you to stop checking in—to ignore or turn off the notifications, or even delete the app. And no one is there to ask you why!
Change is hard. Relying on your willpower alone can make you feel like a failure when things get tough. Face-to-face accountability with a real, human coach can keep you going even when you feel tired or frustrated.
What about a friend or group of friends? Again, yes, to a point. It is important to have friends that support you. But when you leave your comfort zone and start making tough changes, a friend may not be able to give you the accountability you need. After all, they like you and want to help—and seeing you struggle can be hard. A coach accepts the responsibility to push you even when it’s uncomfortable, and to encourage you even when you complain! This does not mean they will harm you—a good coach will never bully, belittle, or injure you, or push you to injure yourself. But when you experience discomfort (and you will!) she can help you deal with it and understand why it’s happening.
So a coach gives you structure by confirming your destination and mapping out a way to get there. A coach also brings accountability, especially when things get tough. But there’s more. A coach gives you motivation. This is what keeps you moving down the path toward your goal—cheering you along, setting the next hurdles, and giving you perspective by reminding you why you wanted to change, and helping you see how far you’ve gone. A coach can’t do the work for you—that’s your job. But she can provide the structure to help you grow, get out of your comfort zone without getting hurt, and stay motivated.
So if you’re thinking about making a change in your life—a real, lasting, substantial change—a coach can give you the structure, accountability, and motivation you need to cross the finish line and embrace the future you desire and deserve.
Go for it! Put a coach in your back pocket today!
by callkayla | Feb 9, 2018 | Blog, Goals, Take Back Your Life
I am still basking in the glow of Janelle Monáe’s words at the Grammy Awards last week: “We come in peace, but we mean business.” Wow.
She was talking about women in the music industry—and I am so proud of her and other women for seizing the creative reins, bringing their message to life, and calling out the culture of inequality in the industry. But in a more general sense, I find these are great words to live by, especially when you are working toward a goal of transforming your life. I’ll tell you why.
“We come in peace.”
If you are really going to prepare yourself for long-term change, one of the first things you need to do is find peace. In two ways.
First, you have to make peace with the past. Stop rehashing your old struggles—with parents, school mates, teachers, ex-es, bosses. Whatever ghosts of failures past you have (real or imagined), let them go. They do not define you. You have successfully woken up every day up to now. You are here. And that means you have a starting point. You have the ability to forgive yourself—for not being perfect, and also for expecting yourself to be perfect. And you can forgive other people for the same things. After all, they’re humans, too, just like you. This frees you to see the positive side of what you have been, and what you can become.
You also need to make room for peace in the present. This means claiming time for self-care. Indulge in a relaxing bubble bath. Spend some time alone to plan your week—maybe even try on your work outfits and set them out. Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and let your mind roll to a stop. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming, and it has long-lasting benefits. Just a moment to be thankful for the good things of the day, celebrate what you’ve achieved, and forgive yourself for things that didn’t go as planned, is all it takes to bring you back to the center—and then move again in a positive direction.
“We mean business.”
OK, now that you have laid the groundwork, you can approach those long-term changes the same way you approach your life’s work. Because it is your life’s work! The evidence of your life is you. Don’t just think or read about working out. Schedule it. Treat it like a doctor’s appointment. Don’t just collect healthy recipes. Treat the contents of your grocery cart like medicine—good things, in the right amounts. Find someone to whom you are accountable. Maybe that’s your spouse or a friend—or maybe you can hire a coach or trainer. Yes, making these kinds of changes takes commitment. Yes, it takes planning. Yes, it is work. (Although that doesn’t mean it can’t also be fun.) So take a business-like approach to keep yourself on track.
Come in peace, but mean business.
Good health, and the good life, are so much more than physical. And your mindset is the key to making a successful change. Physical changes are just the most visible aspect of the more important changes in focus, forgiveness, acceptance, and attitude. Make peace with your past. Make room for peace in the present. And mean business!
If you know someone who could use a boost, please pass this along!
Photo by Matt Sayles/ Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock
by callkayla | Jan 19, 2015 | Blog, Wendy Ida
Have you decided to Take Back Your Life yet? I urge you to forget about those resolutions you made. They don’t work! Instead set new intentions for yourself. Begin with asking yourself: What’s is the one thing I want to happen for me this year?
My new intention is to bring more life, power and wealth into my brand, my body and my health so I can enable, enrich and effect more lives.
My newest January 2015 cover shoot has set precedence for that already.
Thank you BOOMERS LIFESTYLE Magazine for making me your COVER GIRL!
Now for my Fabulous Fit fax!
After you have clearly defined what your new intention is use the following steps to keep them in check.
- Start with setting your weekly (not yearly) goals.
- Each week plan to accomplish two to three things you will do to make progress towards that.
- Check your progress by reviewing what you did that week and repeat.
Lets hear from you now! What have you done so far with your goals and intentions this month? Feel free to post your comments below:
by callkayla | Dec 5, 2014 | Blog, Diet/Healthy Eating
How did you do with your Holiday meal last week? Did you try some of the tips I gave you to help keep those calories down? Remember every little bit helps. For those of you who did try it and dropped me a note on how you did…GOOD JOB! It’s a great start!
If the tips didn’t work for you this time because you just LOST YOUR MIND 🙂 that’s ok too. You know why? It’s the Holiday! Keep reading and I will tell you how to make up for that in a moment.
First let me ask if you’ve set some healthy new goals for yourself yet? If so, send me an email or Facebook me so I can help you get started. I have definitely set my own new goals for the coming year. Two of my goals are taking my body to a new and exciting level and the other is to meet new people and create significant relationships and partnerships.
I actually started that process recently when I had the opportunity to share the stage with Stedman Graham (Oprah’s man) this month. He and I graced the opening of the WIN (Women’s Information Network) event the first day, while John Gray (Author of Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus), and others spoke the following two days. What a great event!
I urge you too, to get a head start on setting goals and making some healthy life changes. Also, look out for my 8-week group coaching program and fitness challenges coming soon!
Now let me tell you how to make up for over eating last week.
Fit fax! By Wendy Ida
- Everyone is bringing in Holiday joy that will sneak up on you so watch out for office nibbling. The calories will add up fast. Instead bring in your own snacks so you won’t be tempted.
- Do a juice cleanse for 3 to 5 days.
- Go back to a normal eating regimen with only one goody per week.
Now I want to hear from you! What are your personal fitness goals for 2015? Feel free to post your comments below: