Halloween’s come and gone, with kids everywhere dressing up, running around and experiencing pure joy. It’s a beautiful thing to see, whether it’s neighborhood children or your own kids and grandkids. But did you dress up? If you’re anywhere near my age (and I’m 65), probably not. Did you dress up when you were younger? If so, when did you stop – and why? Dressing up as someone or something else can be sexy for adults.
Many people seem to lose touch with their sexual selves as they get older, because they may no longer feel they are or can be sexy. Fortunately, that’s not true (hey, ask Betty White!). Here are five great ways to explore and enhance your sexual self at 40 – and for decades to come.
Now is the perfect time of year to play with the idea of roleplay. Whether you dress up as a sexy pirate or a naughty nurse, costumes can be liberating for both parties in a relationship, allowing you to explore new roles and have fun at the same time!
Take Care of Yourself
You may be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with feeling sexy after 40?” The answer is everything. Regardless of your body type, if you’re not taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, you’re probably not going to feel sexy and confident. I find this to always be true for myself. If I’m not eating right, not exercising and not tending myself, I don’t have the sexy confidence I need to have a healthy sexual relationship.
Try Blind Dates
Blind dates are a great idea – sexy, fun and exciting. I’m not talking about the usual blind date, where you meet someone you’ve actually never seen before, though those can be fun too. A few months ago, I got a text simply saying, “I’ve noticed you around, and I can’t take my eyes off of you. Would you like to go out to dinner on Friday?” It was my husband, who proceeded to treat the whole thing like a first date with a crush. It’s a refreshing way to reconnect, and it makes you even more grateful for the relationship you have.
Connect with People You Admire
Many of us are acutely aware of those around us – at work, at church, in our neighborhoods. Find a role model, someone who is your age or older, who seems to really own their confidence and sensuality. Make friends, talk with them, and learn more about how and why they refuses to give up their groove. Surrounding yourself with people you admire is always a great life philosophy – and who knows, maybe some of their joie de vivre will be contagious. Use the examples of other powerful, sensual, strong women to develop some affirmations about your own power and sexuality, and remind yourself of them daily.
Contact is Key
There are a lot of things that seem to stand in the way of a vibrant sex life – confidence, the demands of family, insecurities. One thing that is absolutely vital to help you and your partner maintain a healthy sexual relationship is pure human contact. We often take it for granted, but it feeds our spirit and strengthens our relationship. When contact with the one you love becomes a regular part of your lives, it will automatically lead to a stronger and more connected sexual relationship, regardless of age!