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The Resolution Trap

Happy New Year 2018

It’s January! Time to make your New Year’s Resolution, right?

Right…?

Maybe not….

All cards on the table: I do NOT believe in making New Year’s Resolutions. Why not? Because, at the end of the day, in my experience, they just don’t work, and can even end up working against you. If you stick to your resolutions, you might experience short-term gains, but if you can’t, you’ll just wind up with long-term frustration.

What’s the matter with New Year’s Resolutions?

Think about how you might phrase a typical Resolution:

“In 2018, I resolve to….

“…eat more vegetables.”

“…exercise more.”

“…spend more time with my kids.”

The problem with these resolutions is the word “more”. What does “more” mean?

If you currently eat no veggies (just for the sake of argument!), and start eating a carrot a day, are you keeping your resolution? What if you drop to every other day? What if you stop eating carrots and switch to veggie pizza? Or processed veggie chips? Are you still being “good”?

The problem with the word “more” in these resolutions is that it’s not measurable. And most importantly, it doesn’t provide any information about what you actually want to achieve by making these kinds of changes.

You might think that a lack of structure in a resolution would make it easier to achieve. If you’re at zero, then anything is an improvement, right? But the looseness of these kinds of statements makes it easy to overdo it—and then feel like a failure if you can’t keep up the pace. It can also make it easy to “underdo” it and then taper off after a while when you don’t “feel” any different. Either way, you end up right back where you started—waiting for next year to make another resolution.

Let’s consider a different kind of resolution:

“In 2018, I resolve to….

“…get a promotion.”

“…get a new client every month.”

“…publish a book.”

Well, OK, these sound measurable, don’t they? The problem here is that too many of the factors influencing these outcomes are out of your control. You might do everything right, work your tail off, and win the love of your clients and management—but if your industry hits a rough patch or your company has lay-offs, you may still not be able to “keep” your resolution. Simply put, you can’t make resolutions for how other people are going to act.

These are just a couple of reasons why I don’t believe in making New Year’s Resolutions. But what I DO believe in is setting goals—and then living toward your goals. Goal-making is a PROCESS that starts with the one ingredient that resolutions often overlook: what you want to achieve, and who you want to become in the future.

With goal-making, it’s OK to start big and general, for example: “I want to have a healthier lifestyle.” But we don’t stop there. The next step is asking, “What does a healthier lifestyle mean?” or even better, “How will I know when I’m living a healthier lifestyle?

Maybe your answer to that question is, “I’ll know I’m healthier when my resting heart rate is less than 80 BPM,” or “I’ll know I’m healthier when my doctor says my cholesterol is in a healthy range.” So then, the next step could be to say, “OK, what can I do to improve my resting heart rate?

Now we’re getting somewhere, and we’re in a position to make a good, evidence-based plan with concrete actions. Both cardio and weight training have been demonstrated to improve resting heart rate. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommend at least 150 to 300 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise—or 75 to 150 minutes of vigorous exercise—every week, plus muscle-strengthening activities at least two days a week. Now we have a target to work toward. And if 2½ hours of brisk walking a week isn’t possible for you right now, you can set additional interim goals until you work up to that level.

This is just one example of one kind of goal. Your goals might relate to health and fitness, or nutrition, finances, your career path, or your family life. The key is the PROCESS: start with a vision of what you want your life to be like, and then gradually add definition to that vision until you arrive at specific, achievable goals with measurable results.

Besides PROCESS, the other big difference between making goals and making resolutions is GROWTH. Rather than just “keeping” a resolution, we continually advance toward our goals. And when we reach a goal, we celebrate and then set another—propelling ourselves along into the future, step by step.

In my last blog post, I mentioned the “Ten-Year Rule” — in ten years, which choices will you look back on and be glad you made? This is one technique you can use to get started thinking about long-term goals. I’ll talk more in a later blog post about other tips for goal-setting, the kinds of questions you can ask yourself, and the kind of plans you can make.

In the meantime, tell me—what kind of goals do YOU want to set? Not just for 2018—but for “future you”?

Write and let me know—I’m eager to help you take back your life!

Happy new year, everybody!

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Maintaining Balance Amidst Holiday Chaos

How are you managing this holiday season so far?  I’ll tell you why I ask.

For many of us, the holidays are a time of great joy. This time of year encourages the best in human nature to shine through. We see family and friends that we may not see any other time of year. We also can experience the joy of giving, be it a gift to family members or time spent helping those in need. I think we can all agree that the overall spirit of the holidays is one that we should all strive to achieve year round!

Unfortunately however, this time of year can also bring hectic schedules and unique pressures, along with stress and chaos, which can upend our otherwise healthy and focused mindsets.

What is it about this time of year that creates stress?

There are many potential triggers hidden amongst the mistletoe and festive music. Scheduling conflicts are a major stressor for all of us, and this is especially true during November and December.

In addition to your regular weekly or monthly schedule, the holiday brings a myriad of other time commitments waiting to be honored. You have to decide which ones you want or need to make a priority. Often, we overschedule ourselves during this time of year, not wanting to offend anyone. So we end up promising our time to every holiday party, volunteer event and children’s play we are invited to, but guess what?

That isn’t always the healthiest choice for you…right? 

It wears you out doesn’t it?  That’s not good! 

Trust me, I’ve had to make changes in my own life.  So I know how it feels.  

So, how can you prioritize and streamline your schedule for a holiday season that everyone can enjoy? 

  1. First, think about which holiday events you and your family most enjoy. Those should get first priority in scheduling.
  2. Next, consider the holiday events and invitations that are important – and why you consider them important? Has your granddaughter asked you to come see her play on the same night that your company party is being held?

I like to use the Ten Year Rule in these cases. In ten years, which choice will you look back and be glad you made? Instead of stressing out, create your holiday schedule based on your intrinsic values. Then, act with confidence. If you must decline an invitation, do so politely. When it’s appropriate, explain the reason you can’t volunteer or attend an event. I’ve had to tell people, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make it. I’m volunteering that day, and the shelter is counting on me.” In my experience, most people will understand and even respect your decision to prioritize the things close to your heart.

Coordinating holiday schedules with your family can be even trickier. Whose home will host Christmas this year? Which sides of the family will you and/or your children celebrate with, and on which days? This can be the most challenging time of the holidays to finesse, and, sometimes, it’s impossible to avoid conflict. Work with every member of your family to find out what they’re expectations are – and don’t wait until the week before Christmas. Try to remain as flexible as possible – if you can’t be with your grown children on Christmas morning, make sure you demonstrate a willingness to celebrate on a different day. After all, the important thing is that you will all be able to celebrate as a family.

I wish you lots of love, health and happiness as you make your way through this joyful holiday season!

How do you maintain your sanity during the chaos of holiday scheduling?

Do you have a schedule that helps you decide when the holidays are celebrated with different branches of your family? Are there certain events or activities that you always make time for?

Write me and let me know – I’d love to hear from you!

Simple Diet Changes To Take Back Your Life

As you all know, I’m a big believer in taking back your life at any age. In fact, I’ve been called “America’s #1 Expert on Looking Fit, Fierce and Fabulous After 40.” I believe that helping women just like you is my true calling in his life. However, as a 65-year-old mom and grandmother, I understand the insecurities and doubts that can creep in as you get older. Those same doubts can keep you from taking action day after day, year after year. That’s why today is the day to kick those doubts to the curb, and start taking back your life one step at a time. One of the best ways to get started is changing your diet, and the way you think about food.

Why is changing your diet – and the way you view food – so important? Because so many of us have a complicated, and sometimes unhealthy, relationship with food. Food is wonderful. The foods we eat feed our bodies, allowing us to achieve our goals and achieve optimal levels of health and wellness. However, those same foods can contain harmful ingredients, excessive fats and sugars and other additives that harm our health and keep us from reaching those same goals.

Get What You Need From Food 

Our ideal relationship with food should be one of balance. Educate yourself on what your body needs, and at what age. Which nutrients are key, and why are they important? Your first dietary goal should be to get what your body needs to be its best. That means enough protein, enough fiber, enough calcium … you get the idea. No diet should ever reduce your food intake to the point that you aren’t getting the nutrients you need to thrive. 

Minimize What You Don’t Need

Once you’ve ensured that your diet is meeting your body’s needs, start focusing on minimizing the things you don’t need. Yogurt, for instance, is a great source of protein, calcium and helpful gut bacteria. If you like yogurt, take a look at the brand you currently enjoy. How many grams of sugar does it have per serving? How does it compare to other brands? Is there a healthier option you could try? Kefir, a drinkable yogurt, is often lower in sugar and has been used as part of healthy diets for hundreds of years.  

Leave Room for What You Love

A diet that is too strict, with no room for treating yourself, is one of the fastest ways to failure. While you may maintain a diet like this for a while, eventually you’ll start craving those favorite foods that you no longer allow yourself. Plus, if you do slip up and indulge, you’ll feel like you’ve failed, which makes you more likely to call it quits. So leave room for a little bit of what you love. There are many ways to do this – you can find a lower calorie alternative, or use portion control to keep track of how much you’re eating. Allow yourself a treat on the days you’ve worked especially hard at the gym, when you’ve burned enough calories to minimize the impact of your indulgence. And, lastly, enjoy! It IS okay to treat ourselves. It is NOT okay to binge eat ourselves into a coma.

At 65 years young, I know that it takes focus, dedication and discipline to live your best life regardless of age, and this includes a healthy and balanced approach to the foods you eat. Cleansing is also important. Cleanses give you more energy, focus, help you to absorb all the good nutrients u take in, helps to avoid illnesses and gets rid of body fat. In fact, there is a 30 day cleanse I use all quite oftenIf you’re interested in finding out more about the cleanse I use,  just send me an email.  

I love helping people change their relationship with food and fitness.  

 

Tell me, how have you changed your relationship with food. 

What strategies do you use to maintain a great relationship with the foods that nourish you?

Let me know in the comments below!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It’s that time of year again and I want to express my thankfulness outwardly for my health, your health, and our piece of mind.

I am so grateful for our desire, determination and willingness to be the best versions of ourselves. I am thankful for my family, my friends, new opportunities, stepping stones, growth, learning and teaching.

I have to confess, there’s something I need to tell you…

I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU!

Thank you for messaging me, sharing stories about how you’ve reclaimed the happiness in your life. Thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. I am so grateful that, together, we ARE and WILL CONTINUE to live the life we so desire. 

We are FIT, we are FIERCE and we are FABULOUS!

I know we’ve all had our share of trials and tribulations, but that is a part of growth. Overcoming the struggles of everyday life, and the limitations that society places on us is a true testament to our resilience. Life has a tendency to throw everything at us at once. We find ourselves constantly on the go, focusing on what’s to come and how we’re going to execute our next plan. 

When things get hectic, I find thanksgiving to be the perfect time of year to slow down, pause and take some time for self-reflection. Here in our community, we’ve discussed a range of issues including: self-love, self-worth, becoming healthy, staying healthy, getting our sexy back, being risk takers, the power of our minds, the power behind focusing on and realizing our goals. As I look back at how far we’ve come, I can’t help but be proud of our progress.

We are a family, and family looks out for one another.

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where we often go overboard with what we consider treats. Here’s a friendly thanksgiving reminder and challenge from my heart to yours: Please don’t lose sight of your goals and what you’ve already accomplished. Remember… We eat for the person we are tomorrow. It IS okay to treat ourselves. It is NOT okay to binge eat ourselves into a coma.

Here are 10 of my favorite thanksgiving tips:

  1. Use smaller plates
  2. Eat smaller portions 
  3. Make healthy versions of your favorite dishes
  4. Make it a family event to get in a quick and fun 20 min workout
  5. Dance! Nothing like a good tune to get that heart rate fired up
  6. Try not to eat too late at night. Give those carbs time to digest
  7. Eat slowly. Give your brain a chance to register that your stomach is full
  8. Drink water. Don’t confuse thirst for hunger. Aim for 1 glass of water per glass of alcohol
  9. Eat breakfast and lunch. This can stop you from overeating at dinner
  10. Have that desert. You can still try that savory dish! Focus instead on moderation

Our bodies WILL thank us the next day. The year is almost over, go out with a big bang. Stay true to your health. It should be your #1 priority. We must set examples for others to follow. That in itself is an outward expression of gratitude.

It’s always a pleasure to chat with you all and share. I get such a rewarding feeling hearing from y’all. Again, I thank you. After thanksgiving, let me know how you’ve spent your thanksgiving weekend, what you ate (I’m always open to recipes), if you’ll have them tasty leftovers for days, and how it felt saying no to overeating those delicious foods. 

Thank you. 

I appreciate you.

I’m so proud of your achievements. 

I’d love to know below… What will you be thankful for NEXT YEAR? 

Whatever it is, make a plan for it TODAY.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

5 Ways to Feel Sexy After 40

Halloween’s come and gone, with kids everywhere dressing up, running around and experiencing pure joy. It’s a beautiful thing to see, whether it’s neighborhood children or your own kids and grandkids. But did you dress up? If you’re anywhere near my age (and I’m 65), probably not. Did you dress up when you were younger? If so, when did you stop – and why? Dressing up as someone or something else can be sexy for adults.

Some Simple Tips For A Happier & Heathier Life

Many people seem to lose touch with their sexual selves as they get older, because they may no longer feel they are or can be sexy. Fortunately, that’s not true (hey, ask Betty White!). Here are five great ways to explore and enhance your sexual self at 40 – and for decades to come.

Try Roleplay

Now is the perfect time of year to play with the idea of roleplay. Whether you dress up as a sexy pirate or a naughty nurse, costumes can be liberating for both parties in a relationship, allowing you to explore new roles and have fun at the same time!

Take Care of Yourself

You may be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with feeling sexy after 40?” The answer is everything. Regardless of your body type, if you’re not taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, you’re probably not going to feel sexy and confident. I find this to always be true for myself. If I’m not eating right, not exercising and not tending myself, I don’t have the sexy confidence I need to have a healthy sexual relationship.

Try Blind Dates

Blind dates are a great idea – sexy, fun and exciting. I’m not talking about the usual blind date, where you meet someone you’ve actually never seen before, though those can be fun too. A few months ago, I got a text simply saying, “I’ve noticed you around, and I can’t take my eyes off of you. Would you like to go out to dinner on Friday?” It was my husband, who proceeded to treat the whole thing like a first date with a crush. It’s a refreshing way to reconnect, and it makes you even more grateful for the relationship you have.

Connect with People You Admire

Many of us are acutely aware of those around us – at work, at church, in our neighborhoods. Find a role model, someone who is your age or older, who seems to really own their confidence and sensuality. Make friends, talk with them, and learn more about how and why they refuses to give up their groove. Surrounding yourself with people you admire is always a great life philosophy – and who knows, maybe some of their joie de vivre will be contagious. Use the examples of other powerful, sensual, strong women to develop some affirmations about your own power and sexuality, and remind yourself of them daily.

Contact is Key

There are a lot of things that seem to stand in the way of a vibrant sex life – confidence, the demands of family, insecurities. One thing that is absolutely vital to help you and your partner maintain a healthy sexual relationship is pure human contact. We often take it for granted, but it feeds our spirit and strengthens our relationship. When contact with the one you love becomes a regular part of your lives, it will automatically lead to a stronger and more connected sexual relationship, regardless of age!

Connect with me today! 🙂

What are some of your favorite daily affirmations? Let me know below.

Keep The Mind Healthy To Keep The Body Healthy

In my line of work, I focus so much on maintaining our bodies with diet and exercise, but do you know what else is important? Keeping our minds healthy is also important. A healthy mind will keep you energized and positive, so you can focus on achieving all of your goals.

Keep The Mind Healthy To Keep The Body Healthy

Our minds and bodies are connected in ways that are closer than you might realize. So in order to keep our whole selves happy, we need to find ways to relax, decompress, and clean up what’s going on in our heads. If our thoughts are distracted, then we can’t focus on the task at hand–be it office work, cooking dinner, or doing our favorite exercise routine. So what can you do to make sure that you’re keeping your mind clear and healthy?

Here are the ways I do it:

Clear Your Mind With Meditation

A great way to clear our mind is to meditate, but don’t worry, it doesn’t take an hour of listening to a gong in a yoga studio to meditate. Just take a few moments here and there to take a deep breath and focus on your thoughts. As every thought pops into your head, dismiss it, throw it out of your mind in that moment, and try to clear your mind to stillness. It only takes a few moments to help ease the nerves.

Release Your Thoughts By Writing Them Down

Journaling can be another great way to organize your thoughts and clear your mind. Writing things down on paper can make them more manageable, less frightening and therefore, less stressful. Plus, it’s like someone is listening to you and your concerns!

Take A Break With A Good Book

You can also read a book. Reading is a wonderful way to cast off your own life for a little while and immerse yourself in a story, so that you can come back to your daily routine feeling refreshed and inspired!

I hope these tips help you as much as they have helped me because my goal as a Lifestyle Coach and Fitness Expert is to keep you informed so you can make choices that will improve your life.  

That said…

Are you ready for the next level? 

Are you ready to stop wasting your precious time?

Then take just a few more baby steps!

Let’s discuss how we can get you where you want to be. 

Contact me today! 🙂

How do you answer the question – “How are you today?” I want to know. Share with me below.

Body Image Is Overrated – Your Health Is The Foundation To Focus On

There’s no question that we live in a very image-oriented society. Sad as it is, there’s just no getting away from that. But the reality is that while your appearance may have an impact on some things, for most people, body image is somewhat overrated. 

Body Image Is Overrated - Your Health Is The Foundation To Focus On

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look better, but it shouldn’t be your primary motivation or the main thing you use to judge how effective lifestyle changes have been at improving your life. 

The bottom line? Focus on your health first, and then let your body and appearance follow behind. 

The reason this matters is simple – if you aren’t healthy, you’ll simply have a harder time being able to feel your best and look your best. Focusing on your health lets you lay down the foundation that will allow you to then move onto your body image. 

What does this mean for you? For starters, focus more on a good, healthy overall lifestyle change. A nutrition plan combined with regular exercise might not always help you lose weight as fast as those fad diets, but it will lead you to more stable weight loss over time. 

Simply put, it’s important for you to build long-term plans for your health instead of minor changes that seem like they’ll work. 

Keeping all of this in mind until next time, remember this and start building your blueprint for a healthier life. It’s the first step towards not only a healthier you but eventually a healthier looking you as well. 

To Transform Your Life…It May Be Time To Change The Way You Think

To Transform Your Life...It May Be Time To Change The Way You Think
Another day has gone by…WOW!  Or should I say another week. OMG time seems to speed up with each passing year which means there is no time to waste. 

And as if we didn’t need a reminder of how precious our time is…my heart goes out to the victims and families of the mass shooting in Las Vegas.

I personally understand the despair of a life gone too soon and too quickly.

One of the most overlooked aspects of life on this planet is that we take things for granted.  We are not meant to be here forever nor is our purpose here meant only to entertain ourselves.  There’s a bigger picture and we have to find the lesson.  For me it’s to be in service to others.  To teach, preach, guide, support and live out life’s true essence with quality, purpose and as an obedient soldier of God.  

The underlying aspect of feeling good and having good physical health as well as taking advantage of every freakin moment on earth is first….changing your MINDSET!  Although it is so often ignored, it can have a major impact on your life.

It’s true – the way that you think can have a huge impact on your health. 
OUTLOOK and ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!

Think about your overall attitude during the day. Do you wake up grumpy or down in the dumps? How did you feel physically during that time period? Headaches, body aches, nausea, and more could all be issues that arise from something as simple as a bad attitude or outlook on the day.

How is your attitude?  Do you need help changing your mindset? I did once and it resulted in a life of transformation physically and mentally.  So many of my clients have benefited as a result. If you too are looking for positive change and transformation I’d be happy to serve you and share my vision with you as well. Feel free to contact me.

That poor attitude can make it harder to stay motivated, to eat properly, exercise regularly, and keep with a fitness regimen. Or, for example, a person may feel that they’re too old to get the figure they’re dreaming of. As a result, they fail to take the steps needed to actually achieve it. 

Combine this with research that suggests that your thoughts and attitude can impact physical healing, and it becomes clear that for anyone who wants to live the longest, happiest, healthiest life possible, it’s important to take a closer look at how you think and behave. It could do more for your health than you realize. 

Keep this in your thoughts as you go through the day, and be sure to mind your mindset. If you do, you’ll be one step closer to the healthy life you want and deserve. 

Until next time, stay healthy!

I challenge you to make one change by making a shift in your thinking and share it with me. That Simple! So what’s the Plan Stan? Your comments are welcome below…

Fall Is Coming – Are You Meeting Your Goals?

Fall Is Coming - Are You Meeting Your Goals?

Let me start by saying that I hope you’re living and feeling great! Fall is steadily approaching, and as the weather cools and the leaves change, it’s easy to lose sight of the goals that you’ve set for yourself over the summer OR since the beginning of the year. Remember those resolutions?  🙂  Are you on track?  Still not too late!

Everything from the weather to the types of food that many people eat will change during Autumn months, and it’s important that we don’t just forget about those beach bodies as we enter cooler weather. Doing so can cause you to lose the gains you’ve worked so hard on. So, while you may not have totally met all of your goals so far, it’s well worth taking a look at where you are currently and where you’re going. Making sure that you’re on track for meeting your goals is important – now more than ever

I can say with confidence I AM on track and meeting my goals as of this moment.  First I’m making sure you get the message on what’s hot and what’s not so you can keep up instead of always playing catch up.  And you should know by now that even though I preach and teach I also believe in walking my talk. 

So one of my goals has been to stay in association with like-minded people.  As a result I met Chike Okonkwo and a friend from the show ‘Being Mary Jane’ recently.  Part of my energy comes from the excitement of meeting my goals!

There are a few things to review as fall approaches, including:

  • How’s your diet?

Not just whether or not you’re losing weight, but how easy is it for you to stick to your nutrition plan, and what steps can you make to make it easier? 

  • What fall-centric options can you add to your nutrition plan?

Traditional stews, chilis, and soups may not be a perfect fit, but it’s likely that you can find numerous vegan replacements that will fill you up without adding calories. 

  • Can you adjust your exercise plans?

With cooler weather, some options may be easier to stick with than before – a longer run without worrying about overheating, for instance. 

With a few simple adjustments, you can make the autumn months work for you and your fitness goals. Think about your options and start planning for the upcoming autumn season. You’ll be glad you did. 

How about you?  Are you meeting your goals?  If not, I’ve got solutions to help get you there.  You know my number.  Call it!  🙂   In the meantime…

Until next time, stay healthy!

Rethink How You Are Living Life: Is Age Holding You Back?

I know that life can throw a lot of challenges at us, but one thing I think is important to remember is what kind of obstacles we’re creating for ourselves. One perfect example of this? The way you’re approaching your life and the attitude you carry with that approach. 

Rethink How You Are Living Life: Is Age Holding You Back?

Living a healthier, happier, and altogether better life means taking steps to do so, and that often begins by rethinking the way that you’re living life. One thing in particular to pay attention to is this – is age really holding you back? 

Think about that question for a minute – don’t just snap to an answer.

Specifically, what is age stopping you from doing? For many people, the answer might be surprising. Often, age is an excuse, not an actual preventative factor. It’s the mindset that ‘I’m too old’ that is stopping you, not your body or mind. 

Who determines when we are too old for things anyways? We do. We know our capabilities and what we can accomplish. We don’t have to sell ourselves short simply because of our age. If we take care of ourselves, we can be as vital as we were in our 20s. With a great attitude, a healthy diet, and an active lifestyle, age will never be a barrier to living to the fullest.

Having a positive attitude about aging is the key to staying young. If you decide that age is a barrier to your happiness, it will be. Instead, I know from my own experience, that if you choose to live your life the way you want no matter what age you are, you will always look and feel young. Your attitude defines your youth, not your age.

Stop letting the idea of age hold you back from living the kind of life you want. You’re never too old to seize the day and start working towards your ultimate life goals! If you aren’t sure where to start or even if you can start, let me help you!

Rethink How You Are Living Life: Is Age Holding You Back?